For me, one of the hardest things about being single is "third-wheeling it" with my friends in relationships. Watching the way they look at each other, their rhythms, the way they affectionately touch each other. That's the part that kills. Realizing you don't have someone to share a loving human connection with.
Sometimes, I try to give myself a little slice of life, and do "relationshippy" things by myself. I take myself out to dinner to restaurants I've always wanted to go to, see Broadway shows by myself, take long walks by myself. My motto is: If you wait for someone to share these experiences with you, you might not ever get to do them! I'm amazed by how many Women I meet think there's a stigma about dining alone. Not once has anyone stared at me like I have two heads, and there has bee no fanfare a la Steve Martin in "The Lonely Guy" when I announce that I will be a table for one. I say, if you want nice things in the interim, give them to yourself!
And yet... as fiercely independent as I can be sometimes, it still yanks on my heart when I see someone lovingly stroke the hair of my friend, or walk off with them holding hands.
How do you all cope with that? Do you block it out, or does it still take you a while to process? I'd love to start a dialog about this.
Thank you for your candid remarks about this. I must say, things like this used to bother me, but the way I look at it now is: would I want whoever the guy is (my friend's boyfriend or husband) loving on me? Um, no. So she can have him. It was only when I saw the young man I have feelings for holding another girl's hand and acting affectionate that I had to get out of there. Know what I mean?
ReplyDeleteI often dine alone as well; I don't even think twice about it now. I'm pretty comfortable on my own because I've just always been. It makes those great nights spent with friends or the boy I like all that more special.